Mask
by Bakura's Guardian Angel
Summary: “Sometimes people carry to such perfection the mask they have assumed that in due course they actually become the person they seem.” Ryou's perspective: What if Ryou and Bakura were working together?


A/N: Something I was _forced_ to consider the other day as I read a Ryou Bakura bio. Its not true, there is plenty of evidence against it. But, it made me think...what if Ryou really WAS in league with Bakura? Basically, what you see below, is my thoughts on virtual paper, so its quite short. Ryou POV.

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_"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. ...You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask."  
__~Jim Morrison _

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Liar. Traitor. Deceiver.

That's what they would call me if they knew. They would be hurt and betrayed…it's only natural that they should. They _are_ human. I wish I could tell them. I wish _I_ could inflict that pain. I wish that I could tell them what I really think of them... They would be quite surprised to hear my true opinion.

No, no, that's not my job. I have my part to play, and Yami will take care of inflicting pain when the time is right. I'll do my job and he'll do his. Together. And I do my job quite well, to be honest. I've been working at it for as long as I've known _them_. The 'gang'. Four of the most blind people I've ever met. I don't know how they can trust so easily (I don't know if that's me, or Yami speaking). It's all because of their willingness to include me that my job is made so easy.

My part is the spy.

It's my job is to gain their trust. Obtain their friendship. Learn their strengths, and, more importantly, their weaknesses. I just have to be a part of their little group, a member of their circle of friends, and Yami will be pleased with me. I know that I've succeeded. I don't like to brag, but I'm a fairly good actor. I'm good at hiding, good at deceiving, and Yami is proud of me for it. It's his gentle influence that has molded me into what I am, of course. And it's paying off for him. I have kept up my current charade, at his request, for as long as I've been here in Domino, from the day I saw the Millennium Puzzle swinging from Yuugi's neck. Yuugi doesn't even guess my true face, the one that doesn't like him so much. He, and the others, can't see past my gentle, soft brown eyes (eyes my mother used to compliment me on) to the dark intentions behind.

Instead of a liar---which, occasionally, I almost regret to admit I am---they see me and immediately associate me with words like Shy. Kind. Timid. _Friend. _

And I can see in their eyes, hear in every word they say, that they trust me. Sometimes that trust is almost nice, and then Yami whispers to me, reminds me of our intentions, and I remember why I hate them so much. Why I placed myself among them in the first place. Because, see, I'm one of them now. One of their group. And all that's left is for Yami to deliver the critical, carefully placed blows. Attacking them subtly again and again through me. He doesn't intend to kill them just yet, even I wouldn't allow murder, but this game of cat and mouse I can actually enjoy. I'm like a secret player in the game, a witness who has a hidden weapon. I know Yami's strategy, and I'll let him execute it through me. He'll play this game with them…strike and pull back, pretending to be defeated when he's only just begun his onslaught.

And then, after they've recovered from the 'close call', and they think Yami has been defeated, and they step back into their comfortable little world where nothing bad happens…they won't blame me. I'll join them there, and they'll simply accept me back. Why _should_ they suspect me? I'm a _victim_ in this situation. They'll let me back in because, of course, it's 'not my fault'… It never ceases to amaze me how they're so totally unaware of my allegiance to Yami.

Yami is mine, my other half… And I'm his Hikari. He's an integral part of me, one I can't get rid of even if I did wish to. He's the only entity that has ever stayed with me, never leaving, the only one who has actually kept the promises he's made to me! I help him because he helps me. We're partners, just like the Pharaoh and Yuugi. Why should I disobey his wishes? Why go against the grain of the wood? It would cause an internal struggle, add a unending tension that would rip control of my body in half. It would destroy me. I'm not the one who's wrong. Yuugi does as the Pharaoh wants, doesn't he? Is he wrong for helping the spirit of the Millennium Puzzle? Well, just like Yuugi, I do as Yami wishes. I'm not saying that I let him manipulate me, or control me. I know exactly what I'm doing. In any case, difference in motives does not make either of us, Yuugi or I, wrong. As Hikari's we have a natural inclination to please our Darks...but I don't aid Yami _only_ because I'm his other half. I don't help him just because I'm his Hikari.

_Hikari_…Yami has told me, multiple times, that I'm _undeserving_ of the title Hikari. I'm too similar to him…too similar to a Yami. I guess that's because of my deception and my willingness to help Yami to achieve his ends. Hikari means light, and, in his words, "I'm closer to gray". Gray. I didn't argue with him, and I didn't ask an explanation, so I'm left to decide for myself what it is that makes me 'Gray'.

We have a strange relationship, Yami and I. I wouldn't say it's friendship. Yami despises that, those soft emotions. I guess the word for it is...companionship. We were brought together for a reason. We keep each other company, talk to each other. He's proud of me, though. I know that he wouldn't admit it, but I can feel it through our mind link. He's proud of how willing I am, and how well I've done. He praises my lies to them, and I know its sincere only because he doesn't insult me in the same breath. Just for that, the praise I earn from Yami, I don't feel guilty for lying to them.

In fact, at this point, I think I despise them almost as much as Yami does. And I hate the Pharaoh. I hate him for what he did to Yami. Yami didn't deserve to lose his home to someone like him. All his friends; his family. And all for the sake of power. How can the Pharaoh justify himself? How does he live every day knowing his father took the lives of so many? Does Yuugi know, I wonder, that his tenant is the son of a power hungry killer?

_'None of them know, landlord, none of them remember. You and I are going to remind them... Be patient.' _Yami says softly in the back of my mind.

I nod in understanding. I'm still not sure why everyone immediately presumes that I hate Yami. I've never told them that, I've never actually said that, even if I led them to believe that to further our cause. But why do they have such a conviction of my hatred of him? So Yami's a spirit, and he lives in my Millennium Ring. And _immediately_ I should despise him? Does Yugi hate the Pharaoh? They're essentially the same. Yuugi and I are the same, in the same situation I mean. And no one expects Yuugi to hate the spirit of the Puzzle…so why should I hate my own spirit? I'm not ignorant. I know what he does, the things, the crimes, he commits with my hands…I only pretend to have memory lapses to avoid explaining myself to Yuugi and the rest.

Duelist Kingdom.

Battle City.

I've been there every time.

No, it's wrong to assume that I hate Yami just because he is different from the self-righteous Pharaoh. That's not fair. Not fair to me, and not fair to him. Yami is the only one I have, the only one I've ever had. Those stupid, ignorant 'friends', Yuugi and everyone else, they don't know me. Even my own father doesn't pay enough attention to really truly know me. No one, none of them, they don't even care! They would forget about me as soon as include me in their group. But Yami isn't like that. He knows me, better than anyone. ...And just because he has different ideas then the Pharaoh doesn't make him an untouchable, unfeeling _thing_. Not to me. He talks to me. He accepts me. And with my help, he can get what he wants too.

And when he has what he wants, I can have what I want. That's what he told me. It's just…I don't know what I want really. But pleasing Bakura is reward enough for me for now. Knowing at least part of me is fulfilled is satisfying enough to last for a time.

He is mine, my Yami, and I am his Hikari. Like two sides of the same coin…but only a trick coin. I help him, as he helps me. We're _partners._ That's what a Hikari, the other half of a Yami's soul, does isn't it?

They'll never know. They'll never see. I'll never let them because that would ruin all the carefully placed shields that protect me. Yami is the only one who can see my true face because he's the only one who understands. I can't afford to trust anyone else. Yami is the only one who knows what lies behind the mask.

My mask.

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_"Sometimes people carry to such perfection the **mask** they have assumed that in due course they actually become the person they seem." __~William Somerset Maugham_

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Wow, 2 quotes instead of one? WIERD! I couldn't decide between the two, so...you know.

Review, please, so that I can improve in my own writing. If not for that reason, at least review to prove that the YGO fandom is still alive!!!! (-cricket-cricket-) ...PLEASE!


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